Monday, April 4, 2011

Today is the 4th of April, 2011...

Tomorrow is
清明节 (Qingming Festival), according to one of my aunties. Seriously, I don't know all these traditional dates & stuffs though I feel that as part of being Chinese, we should take note if not know at all when these important dates are (if only there was a easier way of remembering or counting these days).

Anyway, nearing this time of the year, our family will gather together and go pay our respects to my late-grandmother at the temple where she's rested. There will be my grandfather, my uncles and aunties, as well as one of my cousins going down together to pay their respects. Taking this chance, this will always be some sort of a gathering since Chinese New Year...

As usual (and fortunately), my smallest auntie will fetch me to the temple from my place. And today because we were pretty early, we managed to get a parking space along the road outside the temple. But I can't say the same for my other two uncles who came later, as the place soon became very packed.

But so it was, one after the other, my aunties & uncles including my grandpa eventually arrived. We then laid out the tea, fruits, food, hell notes (the usual stuffs) that were to be offered to my late-grandma. My grandpa, aunties and uncles will then pay their respects and offer their joss sticks to the Deity. And in between these sessions of paying respect and offering joss sticks, we always gather around & chit chat, with my grandpa sitting & resting beside on the chair (He has difficulty walking and standing, due to his weakening legs).

And so in times like this, the warm sunny morning covered with smokes from the burning joss sticks, as I stood amongst my aunties & uncles during their conversation, looking at each of them. I couldn't help but noticed how much my aunties and uncles have aged over the years. Their greying hair, their looks of tiredness from the hectic of lives, their aged & wrinkled expressions. How time has left its passing mark on them, as it slips away from each and every of us bit by bit. Suddenly I recalled the days when my once-young aunties and uncles used to play with me when I was a small kid. How they took care of me when I was younger, before each of them got married and had their own family & kids.

And then it also dawned upon me that I was no longer that kid they used to play with. I was getting old too. I will soon be approaching 30 in a couple years' time. I will soon be getting married myself and starting my own family. Just like that, the harsh reality of Life smacks you right in your face... That's how real Life can get. That's how harsh Life can be. Life doesn't cut corners for anybody. One moment you're still in kindergarten, the next you're in the Army, and before you know it, you've graduated from the university and thrown into the workforce. That's how fast Life can steal time away from you, without you paying attention.

And so you think to yourself, what have you done all these while?

Have you been living your Life? Or has Life been living you?

~.~ A Self-reflecting me, someone seeking answers ~.~

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